Coziness of Being Ourselves

My adult daughter turned to me the other day and said the only time she feels totally at ease is when she is at home drinking with her family. Not sure what that says about my parenting style, but I would have to agree with her. There is something warm and safe about being around those you trust. People who love you unconditionally genuinely enjoy seeing the unedited version of you. There are few places in this world where you can get cozy with being yourself.

Growing up, so many of us "fake it until we make it" as we navigate the journey of self-discovery. Once we think we found it, life hits us with a change that makes us rethink everything. It could be an off-handed comment by a co-worker implying that you might be in the wrong career field or a failed relationship that leaves you questioning your ability to be a good partner. Whatever it is, these life events keep us farther away from the coziness of being ourselves.

It's hard to accept the advice to "be yourself" when most of us don't know who that is. There are plenty of self-help blogs filled with self-improvement tips, and while many offer helpful advice, they are missing one important disclaimer. Like the warning tags on hairdryers never to use while bathing, the top of each post should read in bold letters, "Stay true to your core." Sure it's important to try and focus on the positive, but if you're a realist, be a realist. If you see the world through a comic lens, embrace that, and if you prefer to dance alone, don't force yourself to find a partner. Only improve on you, not someone's idea of a perfect self. Only then will you find the warmth of self.

It's not easy. Life reminds us each day that perception plays a significant role. We all need to be good team players in society, but often it's necessary to find a place where people see and value you. Take it from someone who knows; trying to fit into anything other than your you-shaped-hole will get you nowhere.

With the holidays upon us, I look forward to many more tipsy times with my daughter because when she is reflexing her true self, it helps me do the same. So, cheers, and I hope you have a very happy, cozy, self-fulfilling holiday season.