Quiches and Being Socially Awkward
Two people were standing around the buffet table at an office holiday party. One looked at the other and said, "these are the worst cheesecake bites I've ever eaten." The other replied, "I think those are mini quiches." "In that case," the original person responded, "they're delicious."
I recently found myself at a similar holiday party. Looking across the room at the buffet table, I realized I knew no one. Attempting to socialize in a room full of strangers is not a unique experience. I've never found it easy, but I've learned how to appear comfortable over time. However, immediately after I arrive, the strong instinct to turn and run has never left me. My heart screams to exit, but my feet stay firmly planted on the floor.
My strong flight instinct comes from knowing I must wade through groups of people who don't get me to find those who do. In doing so, I must dodge familiar questions like "what do you do?" and "are you from here?" Those are not simple questions to answer. Take the first one, for example. "Recovering serial entrepreneur" is not the answer most expect. A blank expression followed by the second "where are you from" question typically comes next. My answer is, "I'm simultaneously from everywhere and nowhere." I go on to try and explain that I spent most of my life following a handsome Air Force pilot worldwide as his spouse, which caused me to move every two years. After more blank stares, I insert a "nice to meet you" departure comment and move on to the next group.
You might think I make things hard for myself, and I agree. But, while it would be easier to reply with, "I'm a business owner." or "I've lived here for three months," in doing so, I would miss that wonderful experience of discovering someone who gets me. Seeing that familiar blank stare erupt into laughter is why my feet ignore my heart's plea to exit and stay put. Because what follows is a stimulating conversation that I leave feeling fulfilled and happy.
I often think of the opening story of the mini quiches. It helps me through other social interactions in and outside of holiday parties. If people don't like me or find my work off-putting, they don't realize I'm a quiche and not a cheesecake bite. But once they do, I'm sure they will eventually find me deliciously funny.
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